Ok, it is no secret to anyone who knows me personally, I LOVE food. I regularly volunteered at work to coordinate office potlucks, especially the Thanksgiving potluck. I have a gift for delegating people to make/buy my favorite foods to create a delicious smorgasbord of heavenly dishes. I took care all year to understand my coworkers’ personal hygiene and habits such as people who do not wash their hands or let their cats climb on their countertops while cooking and so on. I cultivated copious notes on who produced the best samples of their homecooked foods for me to taste. I strongly felt it was my civic duty to produce the best potluck ever known to work offices. I was good at my job.
The best Thanksgiving potluck I ever coordinated was the year 2003. The department I worked in had an overabundance of certified aunties and aunties-in-training. I had never seen so many great cooks in one place. I oversaw the sign-up sheet. I relied on my status and personal relationships with everyone to help me guide them to the dishes that would produce the greatest outcome for the meal. Managing the list is the most important aspect of executing the perfect potluck.
Before I opened the sign-up sheet to the masses, I made my rounds to the aunties to secure the most critical dishes. I handpicked who would make the macaroni and cheese, greens, sweet potato casserole, stuffing/dressing, and mashed potatoes. With the core sides placed in competent hands, I moved on to the meats. I always have the managers pay for these and I always outsource it to ensure we get juicy and delicious turkey and ham. Over the weeks leading up to the big event, I spent hours assisting the remaining participants in identifying the best options for them, encouraging them to make their best dishes. assigning the non-cookers the essential party items such as rolls, cheese and antipasto platters, punch, ice, decorations, plates and cups, etc. When the day finally arrived, the spread wrapped around the entire conference room. Every dish was delicious! It was a success. We ate for hours and then went home for the holiday.
The second Thanksgiving potluck story was quite a different story than the Potluck of 2003. The company I worked for was full of millennials and we had maybe 4 bonified chefs out of a team of 20. I was not in charge of the potluck however I was a confidant to the coordinator. I successfully convinced her to outsource the meal. We catered the meats, 3 sides and rolls. We encouraged the team to bring appetizers and desserts. It was all going well until we saw someone sign-up to make mac-n-cheese. This coworker had NEVER made mac-n-cheese before, could not cook and not being American, did not understand she was setting herself up to be thrown to the firing squad. That she would be trashed mercilessly for all time if she messed up the mac-n-cheese. She was disappointed but thankful when we explained to her the gravity of the situation and she decided to do a meat and cheese platter instead. Now, I know you are probably thinking that was mean. No. She did not know any better and I liked her too much to let her go out like that. It would have been cruel to not explain our American traditions. All-in-all, we had a decent potluck.
What I have learned over the years is we cannot stop potlucks, but we can make them better. All it takes is a little effort. Like anything else, you must know your personnel and you must put the potluck in the hands of someone who knows how to inspire people to bring their A game. Someone willing to do the dirty work of saving the department from people who do not wash their hands. I am that person, and I am ready and willing to act when called upon.
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