Bevy Smith is not someone I had encountered in my hours of consuming audio and video content. My first time having the Bevy experience happened on a random night I was at Club Quarantine and DJ D-Nice was celebrating the release of her new book “Bevelations, Lessons from a Mutha, Auntie, Bestie.” I immediately connected with her life story. Bevy, like myself and many of my fellow 30 somethings, had been living what most would consider a successful life and career. Although her Prince Charming had not revealed himself, she enjoyed a wonderful sex life, traveled the world, slept in the extravagant hotels, ate at the best restaurants, sipped cocktails, brought high fashion couture pieces from Milan, the fashion capital of the world. Then she experienced a momentary mental breakdown and realized she was suffering from depression or in her word’s malaise. Her life was not fulfilling even though she had so much more than most people. This put in motion what she calls a pivot. She was 33 at the time of her revelation that she was not happy with her life.
Around the same time that I was finishing up Bevy’s inspirational tale of her daring transition into a life of fulfillment, I was beginning to read the late and great Cicely Tyson’s memoir “Just as I Am.” Her oral history of almost the past 100 years of American History was the next best thing to sitting down with my own ancestors and hearing their story. I very much felt Cicely, gifted with a strong sixth sense, knew her time was near and she had one last task on Earth. That task was to pass on all her hard-earned knowledge and wisdom. Her death just a month after the release of her finished memoir no longer comes as a shock to me having read about her gift of sight. Cicely also had a similar transition to Bevy where she went from striving to find work to provide for her and her beloved daughter in her early years and then later making a drastic career change. She worked hard and found herself a good job allowing her to provide the financial security she sought. However, she recalled being at a retirement party for a coworker and after 30 years of service, the only thing they gave her was a gold watch. She found herself totally disgusted and wanting more meaning for her life. Cicely, like Bevy, had also found herself making a pivot in her thirties and transitioned into the world of acting.
Until I read Bevy’s and Cicely’s stories, I thought three things:
1. It was selfish to risk my family’s security to pursue my dreams.
2. There was a time limit on when you could start a dream. I wholeheartedly believed I was running out of time.
3. There was no room for creativity in my life as a career. Somewhere in my childhood, I developed a very black and white view of what constituted a successful career and life. I really believed that all Artist starved.
At least, I had identified my mental challenges in deciding the next path for myself. After hearing those inspiring stories from Bevy and Cicely about their lived experiences about their respective career changes, I was able to dispel my fear of being too old to make a career change. It is possible to make a change at any point in your life if you have the courage to do it.
Jeopardizing my finances was a harder challenge for me to overcome. While Cecily never expressed dealing with any financial hardships during her pivot, she did say that she was never paid much. Bevy discussed her financial troubles at length in her book and yet her honestly did not deter me. I found her resilience a source of inspiration. What was abundantly clear to me from both of their stories is your ability to successfully navigate any struggles comes from your state of mind. Being practical, humble, and resourceful when your income changes in a moment’s notice is key. My strategy until this point had been to pay down my debt and then I could afford to take a pay cut, if necessary, to transition to a new career. The reality of the situation was paying down our debts was taking an extremely long time. The costs of our regular expenses continued to rise faster than the pace of our income. A fact many fail to acknowledge whenever the conversation of raising minimum wage comes up in conversation with politicians.
What I am about to say may sound very risky and even plain dumb to some but everything worth having requires a sacrifice. I decided in my mind I was willing to sacrifice quite a bit of our current “luxuries” to achieve my goals. Could I use public transportation, walk, or ride a bike to get around? Yes. Bye car note, gas, car insurance and registration fees. Could I reduce our living expenses by say moving in an RV? Yes. Could I go to a cheaper phone plan? Yes. Could I sacrifice cable or home internet for a free option? Yes. Could I stop eating out? Yes. I probably should anyway. The list goes on and on. I found thousands of dollars in costs I could eliminate if I needed should everything blew up in my face.
Of course, none of this was a part of plan A. But if these things were stressing me out and trapping me in a career and lifestyle that was making me unhappy, I would walk away from them no problem. The point is I know I had enough of a work ethic to ensure we never went hungry, cold, or naked. If there is breath in my body and I am of sound mind, we would be okay. Also, I have a partner who was a ride-or-die and certified hustler, something Bevy nor Cecily had at the time they were making their pivots. There you have it, beliefs 1 & 3 have been slaughtered.
Fast forward to a month after reading Bevy’s and Cicely’s books, I had a conversation with a friend where I quickly uncovered there was no point in my life before now when I knew myself well enough to completely alter the course of my life. When I turned 30, I found myself gripped with the same struggle to decide between continuing a path where I mimed through the day or truly stepping into a life where I was my full and happy self. It takes some of us a little longer to figure this thing called life out. For some of us, it takes life experience for our true talents to be revealed to us. Cicely had no idea she had a talent for acting. It was a friend who was insistent she had talent and would not allow her to walk away from it. Bevy was born a creative person, who she calls Little Brown Bevy, but she placed her on the backburner to pursue a life of immediate financial gain. Bevy does not regret the path she took or the one she is taking now. She does not feel the time she spent before she made her pivot was wasted. In fact, she proclaims, “It gets greater later!” Cicely expressed a similar sentiment as someone who experienced many revivals of her career well into her 90s.
Let’s be brave in 2021 and beyond. Let’s muster up the courage to make a pivot in our lives in a positive way. It does not have to be a new career; it can be a new lifestyle. Let’s live in a way that is authentic to our true selves. Do it for Auntie Bevy, Godmother Cicely and most importantly for yourself.
Rest in Power, my beloved Cicely. Thank you for the words of wisdom.
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