Endings are just as important as beginnings. No one should live in the past, but we should reflect on it to see if we can extract any powerful lessons before we make decisions on our course ahead. Many people, I am sure, experienced a significant shift and/or change in their perspective because of the turbulent year that was 2020. I intentionally waited a little while to do this reflection because I was worried doing it right at the beginning of the new year was too close to see things clearly.
On a scale of 1-10 with 10 being great, I would rate 2020 a solid 6. On the downside, I lost 3 family members including my beloved Grandmother to whom I dedicated my first blog post. Also, not being able to hang out with our family was a bummer. We were never able to figure out a way to do socially distant birthdays and holidays. On a larger scale, we confirmed that bigotry and hate had in fact NEVER ended in American society and we have a long way to go. The trauma and fear which goes along with being a black American is exhausting. We saw frustration spill out to our streets as protesters raged against threats seen and unseen. The fact remains, black lives are slowly being extinguished through attacks on multiple fronts from direct violence, being deprived of important resources, and lastly our own self-hatred and ignorance.
Another eye-opening experience during this pandemic was the fact that many of our major systems are in a state of disrepair, severe decline or simply inadequate. We struggled with food shortages, distribution issues, shortages of medical supplies and facilities, network/internet issues, a lack of proper resources for virtual learning for our children and the list goes on. America is a first world country and yet many of our institutions and corporations are stuck in the dark ages. It is clear our focus has been on producing things to entertain ourselves instead of focusing on building and creating products and systems which will improve our lives. Shame on us.
America has had a wake-up call, we cannot unsee the things we have learned during this past year. For those of us who have been crying to the tops of the mountain about all these issues before now, we have clear and recent examples to reference in our conversations with naysayers about where we need to focus our resources and energy. It is no longer a hypothetical conversation. America has no community because it continues to alienate large portions of society across all racial and cultural lines. We need to cultivate community and then implement systems that benefit us collectively while still supporting free enterprise. The two can coexist. Ensuring everyone has their fair share of the resources does not impede on an individual’s ability to achieve a happy life outside of the collective. We all have something to contribute individually and this makes us valuable not our ability to hoard all the resources.
On the upside, I have seen myself and many of my family and friends experience personal growth. I have seen people engage in all manor of self-care, self-reinvention, renewing their spirits and taking on new ventures and experiences. It felt like many of us for the first time in a long time stepped off the treadmill and decided to steal this moment to make as many changes as we could in our lives. I will be honest these are aspects of the past year I am not looking forward to giving up. My life slowed down in a way that has made me a happier and more productive person. I know I am forever changed in a very spiritual way and this means I no longer feel I can tolerate what I accepted pre-pandemic. A caterpillar does not transform into a beautiful butterfly just to continue to crawl on the ground.
So, now what? Armed with my new 2021 vision board (yes, I advocate for everyone doing one of these even though people like to poo-poo them), I’m marching forward with a plan. A loose one at that because the universe honestly couldn’t care less what I have planned but just enough of a direction to keep me focused on something to occupy myself while the world keeps turning. In summary, I tried to follow my husband’s philosophy to “stay in the middle” in 2020. He never gets too excited or upset about anything. I did not get too excited when good fortune came to us. I remained thankful but never boastful and I did not take those blessings for granted. I did not allow myself to become too consumed with all the bad of 2020 while still acknowledging it. I used my anger and disappointment to fuel efforts toward change. Fighting with not only my words but also my actions. I know I can do more and this year I will strive to do so. Contribute more to society through my words and actions.
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